陀氏家园

Now for a terrible reminiscence. . . .
现在来谈可怕的回忆……

I woke up, I believe, before eight o'clock, and it was very nearly broad daylight. I woke up completely to full consciousness and opened my eyes. She was standing at the table holding the revolver in her hand. She did not see that I had woken up and was looking at her. And suddenly I saw that she had begun moving towards me with the revolver in her hand. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be still asleep.
我早晨醒来的时候，我想已经七点多了，因为房间里已经非常明亮。我一下子就完全醒来了，突然睁开了两眼。她站在桌前，两手握着枪。她没有发现我已醒来，正在望她。我突然发现她两手握着枪，开始朝我身边走来。我赶紧闭起眼睛，装作正在酣睡。

Is it not so? Is it likely? Can one really say it was possible? What for, why did this woman die?
可难道不是吗？难道这是真的吗？难道说这可能吗？为什么，这个女人为什么，因为什么死去呢？

Oh, believe me, I understand, but why she dies is still a question. She was frightened of my love, asked herself seriously whether to accept it or not, could not bear the question and preferred to die.  I know, I know, no need to rack my brains: she had made too many promises, she was afraid she could not keep them - it is clear. There are circumstances about it quite awful.
啊，请您相信，我明白，但是她为什么而死，这仍然是个问题。她害怕我的爱，她曾经认真地问过自己：接受还是不接受我的爱，她经不住这一问，所以宁愿死去。我知道，我知道，不必再去伤脑筋了：她答应给的太多，显然是怕还不了。这里有几件非常可怕的事情。

But you know that was only a few days ago, five days, only five days ago, last Tuesday! Yes, yes, if there had only been a little longer, if she had only waited a little - and I would have dissipated the darkness! - It was not as though she had not recovered her calmness. The very next day she listened to me with a smile, in spite of her confusion. . . .
要知道，这事总共只才发生在几天以前，五天前，一共才不过五天，上星期二发生的！不，不，只要再等一会儿，只要她再等一刻钟，我就会把黑暗完全驱散！难道她不放心吗？到第二天，虽说她心慌意乱，还是带着微笑听我说话了……

Two words first. A month ago I noticed a strange melancholy in her, not simply silence, but melancholy. That, too, I noticed suddenly. She was sitting at her work, her head bent over her sewing, and she did not see that I was looking at her. And it suddenly struck me that she had grown so delicate-looking, so thin, that her face was pale, her lips were white. All this, together with her melancholy, struck me all at once. I had already heard a little dry cough, especially at night. I got up at once and went off to ask Shreder to come, saying nothing to her.
先说两句。早在一个月前，我就发现她奇怪地沉思。不是沉默不语，而是沉思默想。这也是我突然发现的。她当时正在坐着干活，低着脑袋缝衣服，所以没有发现我在望她。突然使我大吃一惊的是：她已变得那么瘦小，脸色那么苍白，嘴唇毫无血色。所有这一切，再加上她的沉思，一下子使我感到极其惊愕。我以前就听到她小声的干咳，特别是在夜里。我马上站起身来，什么话也没对她说，就去请什列杰尔医生上我家来。

Lukerya has just announced that she can't go on living here and that she is going away as soon as her lady is buried. I knelt down and prayed for five minutes. I wanted to pray for an hour, but I keep thinking and thinking, and always sick thoughts, and my head aches - what is the use of praying? - it's only a sin! It is strange, too, that I am not sleepy: in great, too great sorrow, after
the first outbursts one is always sleepy. Men condemned to death, they say, sleep very soundly on the last night. And so it must be, it si the law of nature, otherwise their strength would not hold out . . . I lay down on the sofa but I did not sleep. . . .
　　卢凯里娅刚才宣布，她不打算住在我这里了，太太一下葬，她就走。我跪着祷告了五分钟，而我还想祷告一小时呢，不过我老是想呀想呀，尽想一些痛苦的事，把脑袋都想痛了。干吗要祷告呢，只是一种罪过罢了！说也奇怪，我不想睡觉：通常在经受过分大的痛苦之后，在第一次强烈的精神爆炸以后，总是想睡觉的。据说，判处死刑的人在最后一夜睡得特别死。本来应该如此，这是合乎自然的，要不，他们就无力承受下去嘛……可我躺在沙发上，怎么也睡不着……

    Quarrels began from her suddenly beginning to pay out loans on her own account, to price things above their worth, and even, on two occasions, she deigned to enter into a dispute about it with me.  I did not agree. But then the captain's widow turned up.
    争吵是从她突然想按自己的想法给钱开始的。她把典当物品的价格订得高出于它自身的价值，甚至两次同我就这个题目展开争论。我没有同意。但这时恰恰碰上了这个上尉太太。

Which of us began it first?
当时，我们中间是谁首先开始的呢？

Neither. It began of itself from the very first. I have said that with sternness i brought her into the house. From the first step, however, I softened it. Before she was married it was explained to her that she would have to take pledges and pay out money, and she said nothing at the time (note that). What is more, she set to work with positive zeal.
谁也不是。从第一步开始就是自动进行的。我说过，我是极其严厉地将她带进我的家里的，不过，从第一步起，我就变软了。还是未婚妻的时候，她就被告知：她要接收典当品，付钱，她当时什么话也没说（这一点请您记住），而且她开始干这工作的时候，还是很热心的

I could not sleep. And how should I? There is a pulse throbbing in my head. One longs to master it all, all that degradation. Oh, the degradation! Oh, what degradation I dragged her out of then! Of course, she must have realized that, she must have appreciated my action! I was pleased, too, by various thoughts - for instance, the reflection that I was forty-one and she was only sixteen. that fascinated me, that feeling of inequality was very sweet, was very sweet.
我没有睡着。再说我哪能睡得着呢？脑袋里总好像有根什么脉搏在不停地跳动。很想把这一切，把这全部乌七八糟的事情都弄清楚。啊，乌七八糟的肮脏事啊！啊，我当时把她从什么样的肮脏中拖出来啊！她本应该明白这一点的，应该对我的行动，给予应有的评价的！此外，许多不同的想法，也使我感到高兴，比方说，我四十一岁，而她刚刚十六岁。这可把我迷住了，这种不平等的感觉是非常甜蜜的，非常非常甜蜜的。

The "details" I learned about her I will tell in one word: her father and mother were dead, they had died three years before, and she had been left with two disreputable aunts: though it is saying too little to call them disreputable.
关于她的“底细”，我所了解的，可以用一句话说清楚：父母都已死去，而且死得早，三年前就死去了，她便留在两个不大守规矩的姑姑家。我要说，把她们叫做不大守规矩的人，还不太确切。

作者的话

　　我请求我的读者原谅：这一次我不采用通常的《日记》形式，只写一个中篇。但是,这部中篇却的的确确占去了我一个月的大半部份时间。无论如何我都要求读者宽恕。
        现在让我们来谈谈故事本身。尽管我给它冠上了“幻想”的标题，但我本人却认为它是高度现实的。不过这里确有（幻想）的成分，所以我认为有必要事先加以说明。
        问题是这个东西既不是短篇小说，也不是札记。请你们设想一位这样的丈夫，他的妻子正躺在桌子上，几个小时以前，她跳窗自杀。他心情慌乱，还没来得及收拢自己的思想。他在自己的几间房里走来走去，竭力把已经发生的事件想个明白，“把自己的思想集中到一个点上。”而且他是一个自言自语的不可救药的怀疑病者。现在他就在自言自语，一边讲事情的经过，一边给自己解释这件事情。尽管表面上看起来，他说的话首尾一致，但在感情上、逻辑上却几次自相矛盾。他为自己进行辩解，把责任放在她身上，还作出一些毫不相干的解释：这里面既有心灵和思想上的粗鄙，也有深厚的感情。他真的慢慢地向自己解释清楚了这件事情，而且将“思想集中到了一点上”。他引起的一系列的回忆，终于使他无可挽回地走向了真理，而这个真理又无可挽回地提高了他的理智和心灵。最后连他讲述故事的口气与开初的紊乱相比，也发生了变化。真理在他这个不幸者面前，已经相当明朗而确定地展现出来，至少对他本人来说是如此。
        这就是故事的主题。当然讲述的过程持续了好几个小时，断断续续，形式上也颠三倒四：一会儿他自言自语，一会儿又似乎是在对一个看不见的听众，一个什么法官说话。这类现象在现实生活中的确常见。如果有一个速记员偷偷地听他说话，并且把他所说的全部记录下来，那么，记录的结果可能比我所写的来得粗糙，因为未加修饰，但我又觉得整个心理逻辑过程也许还是一样的。我说这个故事中有幻想的成分，指的就是假设速记员记下了他所说的一切（记录以后我对他所记的进行加工）。不过，此类情况在艺术中屡见不鲜，比如维克多•雨果在其名著《死囚的最后一日》中就几乎使用了同样的手法。虽然他没有让速记员上场，但他却容许了更大的不真实，他设想一个被判处死刑的囚徒不仅在他最后的一天，而且是在他最后的一小时，甚至最后的一分钟都能够（也有时间）写自己的笔记。假如他不容许这种荒诞的假设，那这部作品就不可能存在，而这部作品又是他所写的作品中最最现实、最最真实的一部。

I have mentioned that I dropped asleep unawares and even seemed to be still reflecting on the same subjects. I suddenly dreamt that I picked up the revolver and aimed it straight at my heart - my heart, and not my head; and I had determined beforehand to fire at my head, at my right temple. After aiming at my chest I waited a second or two, and suddenly my candle, my table, and the wall in front of me began moving and heaving. I made haste to pull the trigger.

我说过，我在不知不觉中睡着了，仿佛还在思考着那些问题。我忽然梦见，我坐在那里拿起手枪来直对着心脏——是心脏，不是脑袋；以前我是打算一定对准脑袋，正对右太阳穴开枪的。我对准胸膛等了一、二秒钟，忽然房里的蜡烛、桌子和墙壁全都在我眼前晃动、旋转起来。我连忙开了一枪。

II

You see, though nothing mattered to me, I could feel pain, for instance. If anyone had stuck me it would have hurt me. It was the same morally: if anything very pathetic happened, I should have felt pity just as I used to do in old days when there were things in life that did matter to me. I had felt pity that evening. I should have certainly helped a child.

您要知道：我虽然全无所谓，但要是拿疼痛来说我还是感觉得出来的。如果有人打了我，我就会感觉得痛的。精神上也是这样：如果发生了什么可怜的事，我就会觉得可怜的，就像过去生活上我还没有对任何事都觉得无所谓时那样。对那个小女孩我也有过怜悯心：我一定要去帮助她。

I am a ridiculous person. Now they call me a madman. That would be a promotion if it were not that I remain as ridiculous in their eyes as before. But now I do not resent it, they are all dear to me now, even when they laugh at me and, indeed, it is just then that they are particularly dear to me. I could join in their laughter - not exactly at myself, but through affection for them, if I did not feel so sad as I look at them. Sad because they do not know the truth and I do know it. Oh, how hard it is to be the only one who knows the truth! But they won’t understand that.

我是一个荒唐可笑的人。现在他们叫我疯子。在他们看来，如果我依然不像先前那样荒 唐的话，那么这一称呼倒是升了一级。不过，我现在已经不生气了，现在我觉得他们全都很可爱，甚至当他们嘲笑我的时候——我反而觉得他们特别可爱。假若望着他们我心里不是那么忧伤的话，我会同他们一道笑的，——不是笑我自己，而是由于喜欢他们。我之所以感到忧伤，是因为他们不懂得真理，而我却懂。唉，一个人懂得真理有多么难啊！但是这一点他们是理解不到的。

I am a ridiculous man. They call me a madman now. That would be a distinct rise in my social position were it not that they still regard me as being as ridiculous as ever.
我是一个荒唐可笑的人。现在他们叫我疯子。在他们看来，如果我依然不像先前那么荒唐的话，那么这一称呼倒是升了一级。

Is there suffering on this new earth? On our earth we can truly love only with suffering and through suffering! We know not how to love otherwise. We know no other love. I want suffering in order to love.
在这新的地球上也有痛苦吗？在我们那个地球上，我们的确只能怀着痛苦去爱，并且也不知道还有别的什么方式去爱它。为了爱，我甘愿受苦。

Chronology

N.B. Dates are given according to the Julian calendar(or Old Style), which was retained in Russia until the 1917 Revolution and ran twelve days behind the Gregorian calendar during the nineteenth century.


1821 Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky is born in Moscow on October 30 in Hospital for the poor, the second of seven children.

1831-37 Fyodor and his older brother, Mikhail (b. 1820), together attend boarding schools in Moscow. Following the death of their mother in 1837, they are sent to a preparatory school in St. Petersburg.

1838 Fyodor, but not Mikhail, is admitted to St. Petersburg’s Academy of Military Engineers.

1839 Father possibly murdered by his own serfs at his estate, Chermashnya, in province of Tula.

1843 Dostoevsky graduates from the Academy as lieutenant. Translates into Russian Honore de Balzac’s Eugenie Grandet.

1844 He translates George Sand’s La derniere Aldini and works on Poor Folk, his own first novel.

1845 Friendship with the liberal Vissarion Grigorievich Belinsky, Russia’s most influential critic.

1846 Publication of Poor Folk, The Double (appearing two weeks later), and Mr. Prokharchin. Acquaintance with the utopian socialist M. V. Butashevich-Petrashevsky

1846 Anna Grigorievna Snitkina (Dostoevsky’s future wife) is born in Petersburg on October 30th.

1846-47 Various undiagnosed nervous ailments. Onset of epilepsy?

1847 Publication of A Novel in Nine Letters, as well as several short stories, including A Weak Heart, Polzunkov, The Landlady and White Nights.

1848 Publication of The Stranger-Woman, Christmas and Wedding, and A Jealous Husband.

1849 Publication of Netochka Nezvanova. Arrested and convicted for alleged political crimes. Sentenced to death, but due to a last-minute reprieve, was instead sentenced to an indefinite term in Siberia, including four years hard labour.

1850-54 Penal labour in Omsk, in western Siberia.

1853 Onset of periodic epileptic seizures.

1854-59 Compulsory military service in Semipalatinsk (southwest Siberia). Marriage to the widowed Marya Dmitrievna Isaeva in 1857. The couple are permitted to take up residence in European Russia in 1859, the year in which Uncle’s Dream, The Little Hero (composed in prison) and The Village of Stepanchikovo and Its Inhabitants appear.

1860 Publication of the first part of House of the Dead.

1861 Mikhail and Fyordor begin publication of Time, which publishes Dostoevsky’s The Insulted and the Injured, and A Silly Story.

1862 The second part of House of the Dead and A Nasty Tale are published in Time. Dostoevsky makes his first trip abroad, visiting several western European countries, including England, France and Switzerland. Beginning of liaison with Apollinaria (Polina) Suslova.

1863 Winter Notes on Summer Impressions is published in Time.

1864 Epoch, successor to the banned magazine Time, publishes Dostoevsky’s Notes from Underground. Death of Marya Dmitrievna, Fyodor’s wife, and of his brother Mikhail.

1865 Epoch ceases publication, ending Dostoevsky’s five-year journalistic career. An Unusual Happening is published. Polina Suslova declines his marriage proposal.

1866 Crime and Punishment and The Gambler are published.

1867 Dostoevsky is married to Anna Grigorievna Snitkina. The couple leave for western Europe, remaining abroad for four years. They live in Geneva for a time, then Florence, Vienna, Prague and finally Dresden.

1868 Publication of The Idiot.

1870 Publication of The Eternal Husband.

1871-72 The Dostoevskys move back to Russia and Petersburg where The Devils is published serially.

1873 Dostoevsky’s The Diary of a Writer becomes a regular feature of the conservative weekly, The Citizen. Publication of Bubok.

1874 Dostoevsky arrested and imprisoned once again, this time for violation of censorship regulations.

1875 Publication of A Raw Youth.

1876 Dostoevsky becomes sole editor of a new monthly periodical entitled The Diary of a Writer, in which A Gentle Creature appears.

1877 Publication of The Dream of a Ridiculous Man.

1879-80 Publication of The Brothers Karamazov. Anna opens a direct-mail book service.

1880 Dostoevsky delivers his famous speech on Pushkin at the Pushkin festivities in Moscow in June. Enormous crowds and stormy emotional responses at Dostoevsky’s readings.

1881 Dostoevsky dies from a lung hemorrage in St. Petersburg on January 28 at the age of fifty-nine. Buried February 1st in cemetery of Alexander Nevsky Monastery.

中长篇小说

《穷人》（1846）
《双重人格》（1846）
《涅托奇卡•涅兹瓦诺娃》（1849）
The Village of Stepanchikovo or The Friend of the Family) (1859）
《被凌辱与被侮辱的》（1861）
《死屋手记》（1862）
A Nasty Story (1862)
《地下室手记》（1864）
《罪与罚》（1866）
《赌徒》（1867）
《白痴》（1868）
《群魔》（1872）
《少年》（1875）
《卡拉马佐夫兄弟》（1880）

短篇小说

《白夜》
《圣诞晚会和婚礼》
《诚实的小偷》
《荒唐人的梦》
1 2 3 4 5
《农夫马列伊》

陀思妥耶夫斯基是俄罗斯最伟大的作家之一。他的作品对20世纪的小说创作产生了持续和深远的影响。通过对人物异常和极端的思想状态的描写，其作品不但蕴涵着对人类心理敏锐的洞察，而且还展示出他对当时俄国的政治，社会和精神状况深刻的洞见。他的一些最著名的作品预言了当代许多重要的思想和学说。通常他被认为是存在主义的创始人，尤其是《地下室手记》一书被Walter Kaufmann称为“写得最好的存在主义的序曲”。然而陀思妥耶夫斯基本人则说他的地下室人是虚无主义思想达到极端的一种形式，生动地表明了当今世界对信仰和基督的渴望。